Lifestyle Terms and Definitions.
24/7: A relationship in which protocols are in place continuously. 24 hours per day 7 days per week.
Animal Transformation Fantasy: Fantasy in which the focus is on the sub entering the altered mind space of a different species, typically a dog, pony, or horse
Abrasion: Using something rough (such as sandpaper).
Aftercare: The time after a BDSM scene or play session in which the participants calm down, discuss the previous events and T/their personal reactions to them, and slowly come back in touch with reality. BDSM often involves an endorphin high and is a very intense experience, and failure to engage in proper aftercare can lead to subdrop as the endorphins return to normal levels. This can include anything from cuddling or petting, to making sure everyone is warm, hydrated, and fed.
Age Play:Usually referring to Mommy/baby role play. Does not usually include or imply aspects of incest, but rather the nurturing relationship of Parent/child or Teacher/student.
Anal Torture: The BDSM practice of inflicting pain on/in the anus.
Auctioned Off: The Domme auctions off the slave to the highest bidder (usually supervised and for temporary use).
Bad Pain: "Bad pain" is pain which is outside hard limits, non-mutual or non-valued, not wished for, and of limited or no value in this context. Stubbing a toe, for example. Good pain and bad pain are terms used lightheartedly by BDSM practitioners, signifying that whilst BDSM may include an element (often quite pronounced) consensual pain, there is a purpose to it, and some pain is consented to and accepted whilst other pain is not.
BDSM: Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism
Bondage:Acts involving the physical restraint of a partner. Bondage typically refers to total restraint, however it can be limited to a particular body part.
Branding: A higher level of domination, usually revolves around a ceremony in which the slave is branded with the mark of the Domme.
Breath Control: The Domme controls the sub's breathing. This is very dangerous and for the experienced players only
Butt Plug: Much like a dildo, only shaped slightly differently. Usually narrower at the bottom, then a flared base. The flared base allows it to be safely left in place. They come in a variety of sizes, some can vibrate. Many have straps that allow you to lock them in place.
Chastity: a form of erotic sexual denial or orgasm denial whereby a person is prevented from access to, or stimulation of, their genitals, save at the whim or choice of their partner, usually by means of a device (called a chastity belt or sometimes for men a cock cage) that prevents contact and is controlled by means of a lock by the partner. This one device is the corner stone to keeping Your male partner in their place as You will read in the school.
CBT: Cock and Ball Torture.
CFNM: Clothed Female, Naked Male.
Collared: Submissive or slave who is Owned, usually (but certainly not exclusively) in a loving intimate relationship. A Domme may have multiple persons collared, but a sub can only be collared to one Domme.
Collaring: The formal acceptance by a Domme of a sub's service. Also the Ceremony when a Domme commits to a sub (much like a wedding or other contract).
Consent: Mutual agreement to the terms of a scene or ongoing BDSM relationship.
Cross Dressing: Wearing clothing usually associated with the opposite sex. Forced or of mutual consent, when You use Female clothing as a tool to keep Your slave in his place. This is very effective in correcting the male ego.
DM: Dungeon Monitor, a person who volunteers to supervise the interactions between participants at a play party to ensure their safety.
D/s: Domination/submission
Dungeon: Usually referring to a room or area with BDSM equipment and play space
Edge Play: SM play which pushes the physical or emotional limits of the P/persons involved. This can be particularly dangerous activities such as fire, electricity, or cutting, or may not be physically dangerous at all.
Endorphin Rush: Endorphins are the chemicals responsible for the "high" people often get from activities such as sex, or high-risk sports. It is the body's response to heightened or intense experiences of certain kinds. BDSM activities, especially those incorporating a degree of sensation play often cultivate the endorphin rush as part of their "payoff" to the sub. But also see aftercare for the care needed to ensure that subdrop does not occur afterwards as the body returns to normal.
Erotic Sexual Denial: keeping another person aroused while delaying or preventing resolution of the feelings, to keep them in a continual state of anticipatory tension and inner conflict, and heightened sensitivity. Also see tease and denial and chastity.
Fetish: A specific obsession or delight in one object or experience.
Feminization: Taking a cross dressing desire to a new level, forcing Your slave to accept Female traits. This can include anything from eyebrow plucking to Breast implants. Very common is long term relationships
Fire Play: Using flammable liquids to create quick, fleeting instances of flame on the skin of the bottom/submissive. Risk of injury is increased and the Top/Dominant should be learned with fire play skills.
Genitorture: Torture of the genitals
Good Pain: "Good pain" is pain that is mutually agreed, desired or permitted by the submissive partner to be experienced, and seen by them as of enjoyment or value. Good pain and bad pain are terms used lightheartedly by BDSM practitioners, signifying that whilst BDSM may include an element (often quite pronounced) of consensual pain, there is a purpose to it, and some pain is consented to and accepted whilst other pain is not.
Golden Showers: Urinating on, or being urinated on by, another person. This also applies to using Your slave as a toilet. Urine is sterile and completely harmless to Your slave, if You have no communicable diseases.
Gorean: A BDSM sub-genre of male-domination, based upon the rituals and practices created within the world of Gor in the erotic novels by John Norman.
Hard Limits: What someone absolutely will not do, usually non-negotiable.
Harem/Stable: A group of subs serving one or more Dommes.
Impact Play: Part of sensation play, dealing with impact such as whips, riding crops, paddles, floggers, fists, wrestling, etc.
Infantilism: Parent/child or parent/baby role playing, often includes diapers on the sub.
Knife Play: Slow, methodical sensation of the bottom with the edges and points of knives, usually without cutting the skin. Fear of the weapon plays a large part in the stimulus of the bottom.
Limits: What someone "won't" do or is hesitant to do.
Masochism: Act of receiving pain for sensual/sexual pleasure.
Masochist: Person who enjoys pain, usually sexually.
Mummification: Immobilizing the body by wrapping it up, usually with multiple layers of tight thin plastic sheeting. Breathing and other safety measures must be appropriately taken care of, often by leaving the face (or at least the mouth and nose) open. Body temperature (maintained to an extent by movement) may also be affected so a warm environment and warm aftercare may be important. Mummification is often used to enhance a feeling of total bodily helplessness, and incorporated with sensation play.
Munch: A support group of people that are into BDSM meeting for discussion. Sometimes at a vanilla place. You might see an announcement like, "This weekend's munch is at Club X in Denver."
Needle Play: Temporary piercing's done with sterile needles of varying gauges, usually only for the duration of a scene.
Nyotaimori: Human platters
OTK: Over The Knee (spanking).
Pain Slut: A person who enjoys receiving a heavy degree of pain but may or may not necessarily enjoy submitting. Not Your average masochist.
Paraphilia: Medical term for several psychiatric disorders that are manifested as deviant sexual behavior. From pedophilia, bestiality, and necrophilia, to nymphomania, sadism, masochism, fetishism, exhibitionism
Play Party: A BDSM event involving many people engaging in Scenes.
Pro Domme: Female professional Dominant (charges money or Tributes)
Pony Girl or Pony Boy: Sub is dressed in a pony outfit, with mouth bit and anal plug with a tail. They are told to prance or behave like a pony.
Puppy Play: Sub is made to act like a puppy. Sub barks, whines, eats from a bowl, etc. Such play is almost never sexual, but rather focuses on the altered mind-space of bottom/pup.
RACK: Risk Aware Consensual Kink
Rape Fantasy: The pleasurable fantasy of inflicting or being a victim to an act of consensual rape.
Sadism: The act of inflicting pain.
Sadist: Person who enjoys inflicting pain, usually sexually.
SSC: Safe, Sane and Consensual
Safe Word: When a participant utters a safeword, BDSM activity stops. Commonly ‘Red’ means complete stop, ‘Yellow’ means something needs to be addressed, then continue.
Scat Play: Feces play , very dangerous if not done correctly, also very demeaning to the slave.
Scene: The period of time encompassing BDSM play. For example “I’m planning a knife-play ‘scene’ for tonight”
Sensation Play: BDSM play where the intent is to push people's sensory limits, thus exploring texture, sensory deprival, through to whips, flagellation and edge play.
Session: A time period of BDSM activities with a Pro Domme.
Slave: Person who gives up all control in an ongoing D/s relationship, sometimes with few remaining limits. Often those who identify as "slave" have a great desire for being of service to their Dominant. Sometimes referred to as "service-oriented submission."
Slave Position: Also called The Pleasure Position. Sub is kneeling, legs spread, head down and hands out with palms up.
Soft Limits: Something that someone is hesitant to do or nervous to try. They can sometimes be talked into the activity, or preferably it may be negotiated at a trial or beginner level into a scene.
Submissive: "sub" for short. Person that gives up control either all the time or only during a scene. Not as serious as being slave.
Subspace: A "natural high" that a sub gets during a scene or when being controlled. Often triggered by pain. The sub may feel disconnected from time, space, and/or their body, and may have limited ability to communicate. It is critical that a Dom(me) be aware of their sub's well being if they are in subspace.
Switch: Someone who likes being both Dominant and submissive, either in one scene or on different occasions.
Tattooed:A way for a Domme to mark Her property permanently.
Topping From The Bottom: When submissive tries to direct the Dominant.
Top: Someone who is Dominant during a scene, not necessarily Lifestyle.
Training: Either referring to a short period of time (a scene) or an ongoing effort of the Domme teaching the sub how to act. Can either be a playful thing or a serious thing, depending on the couple.
Vanilla: Someone who is not in the Lifestyle. Alternatively, sexual behavior which does not encompass BDSM activity.
WIITWD: What It Is That We Do. An acronym referring to all forms of alternative sexuality.
Wax Play: The Domme drips hot wax on the sub.
This is only a few of the main one's.
24/7: A relationship in which protocols are in place continuously. 24 hours per day 7 days per week.
Animal Transformation Fantasy: Fantasy in which the focus is on the sub entering the altered mind space of a different species, typically a dog, pony, or horse
Abrasion: Using something rough (such as sandpaper).
Aftercare: The time after a BDSM scene or play session in which the participants calm down, discuss the previous events and T/their personal reactions to them, and slowly come back in touch with reality. BDSM often involves an endorphin high and is a very intense experience, and failure to engage in proper aftercare can lead to subdrop as the endorphins return to normal levels. This can include anything from cuddling or petting, to making sure everyone is warm, hydrated, and fed.
Age Play:Usually referring to Mommy/baby role play. Does not usually include or imply aspects of incest, but rather the nurturing relationship of Parent/child or Teacher/student.
Anal Torture: The BDSM practice of inflicting pain on/in the anus.
Auctioned Off: The Domme auctions off the slave to the highest bidder (usually supervised and for temporary use).
Bad Pain: "Bad pain" is pain which is outside hard limits, non-mutual or non-valued, not wished for, and of limited or no value in this context. Stubbing a toe, for example. Good pain and bad pain are terms used lightheartedly by BDSM practitioners, signifying that whilst BDSM may include an element (often quite pronounced) consensual pain, there is a purpose to it, and some pain is consented to and accepted whilst other pain is not.
BDSM: Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism
Bondage:Acts involving the physical restraint of a partner. Bondage typically refers to total restraint, however it can be limited to a particular body part.
Branding: A higher level of domination, usually revolves around a ceremony in which the slave is branded with the mark of the Domme.
Breath Control: The Domme controls the sub's breathing. This is very dangerous and for the experienced players only
Butt Plug: Much like a dildo, only shaped slightly differently. Usually narrower at the bottom, then a flared base. The flared base allows it to be safely left in place. They come in a variety of sizes, some can vibrate. Many have straps that allow you to lock them in place.
Chastity: a form of erotic sexual denial or orgasm denial whereby a person is prevented from access to, or stimulation of, their genitals, save at the whim or choice of their partner, usually by means of a device (called a chastity belt or sometimes for men a cock cage) that prevents contact and is controlled by means of a lock by the partner. This one device is the corner stone to keeping Your male partner in their place as You will read in the school.
CBT: Cock and Ball Torture.
CFNM: Clothed Female, Naked Male.
Collared: Submissive or slave who is Owned, usually (but certainly not exclusively) in a loving intimate relationship. A Domme may have multiple persons collared, but a sub can only be collared to one Domme.
Collaring: The formal acceptance by a Domme of a sub's service. Also the Ceremony when a Domme commits to a sub (much like a wedding or other contract).
Consent: Mutual agreement to the terms of a scene or ongoing BDSM relationship.
Cross Dressing: Wearing clothing usually associated with the opposite sex. Forced or of mutual consent, when You use Female clothing as a tool to keep Your slave in his place. This is very effective in correcting the male ego.
DM: Dungeon Monitor, a person who volunteers to supervise the interactions between participants at a play party to ensure their safety.
D/s: Domination/submission
Dungeon: Usually referring to a room or area with BDSM equipment and play space
Edge Play: SM play which pushes the physical or emotional limits of the P/persons involved. This can be particularly dangerous activities such as fire, electricity, or cutting, or may not be physically dangerous at all.
Endorphin Rush: Endorphins are the chemicals responsible for the "high" people often get from activities such as sex, or high-risk sports. It is the body's response to heightened or intense experiences of certain kinds. BDSM activities, especially those incorporating a degree of sensation play often cultivate the endorphin rush as part of their "payoff" to the sub. But also see aftercare for the care needed to ensure that subdrop does not occur afterwards as the body returns to normal.
Erotic Sexual Denial: keeping another person aroused while delaying or preventing resolution of the feelings, to keep them in a continual state of anticipatory tension and inner conflict, and heightened sensitivity. Also see tease and denial and chastity.
Fetish: A specific obsession or delight in one object or experience.
Feminization: Taking a cross dressing desire to a new level, forcing Your slave to accept Female traits. This can include anything from eyebrow plucking to Breast implants. Very common is long term relationships
Fire Play: Using flammable liquids to create quick, fleeting instances of flame on the skin of the bottom/submissive. Risk of injury is increased and the Top/Dominant should be learned with fire play skills.
Genitorture: Torture of the genitals
Good Pain: "Good pain" is pain that is mutually agreed, desired or permitted by the submissive partner to be experienced, and seen by them as of enjoyment or value. Good pain and bad pain are terms used lightheartedly by BDSM practitioners, signifying that whilst BDSM may include an element (often quite pronounced) of consensual pain, there is a purpose to it, and some pain is consented to and accepted whilst other pain is not.
Golden Showers: Urinating on, or being urinated on by, another person. This also applies to using Your slave as a toilet. Urine is sterile and completely harmless to Your slave, if You have no communicable diseases.
Gorean: A BDSM sub-genre of male-domination, based upon the rituals and practices created within the world of Gor in the erotic novels by John Norman.
Hard Limits: What someone absolutely will not do, usually non-negotiable.
Harem/Stable: A group of subs serving one or more Dommes.
Impact Play: Part of sensation play, dealing with impact such as whips, riding crops, paddles, floggers, fists, wrestling, etc.
Infantilism: Parent/child or parent/baby role playing, often includes diapers on the sub.
Knife Play: Slow, methodical sensation of the bottom with the edges and points of knives, usually without cutting the skin. Fear of the weapon plays a large part in the stimulus of the bottom.
Limits: What someone "won't" do or is hesitant to do.
Masochism: Act of receiving pain for sensual/sexual pleasure.
Masochist: Person who enjoys pain, usually sexually.
Mummification: Immobilizing the body by wrapping it up, usually with multiple layers of tight thin plastic sheeting. Breathing and other safety measures must be appropriately taken care of, often by leaving the face (or at least the mouth and nose) open. Body temperature (maintained to an extent by movement) may also be affected so a warm environment and warm aftercare may be important. Mummification is often used to enhance a feeling of total bodily helplessness, and incorporated with sensation play.
Munch: A support group of people that are into BDSM meeting for discussion. Sometimes at a vanilla place. You might see an announcement like, "This weekend's munch is at Club X in Denver."
Needle Play: Temporary piercing's done with sterile needles of varying gauges, usually only for the duration of a scene.
Nyotaimori: Human platters
OTK: Over The Knee (spanking).
Pain Slut: A person who enjoys receiving a heavy degree of pain but may or may not necessarily enjoy submitting. Not Your average masochist.
Paraphilia: Medical term for several psychiatric disorders that are manifested as deviant sexual behavior. From pedophilia, bestiality, and necrophilia, to nymphomania, sadism, masochism, fetishism, exhibitionism
Play Party: A BDSM event involving many people engaging in Scenes.
Pro Domme: Female professional Dominant (charges money or Tributes)
Pony Girl or Pony Boy: Sub is dressed in a pony outfit, with mouth bit and anal plug with a tail. They are told to prance or behave like a pony.
Puppy Play: Sub is made to act like a puppy. Sub barks, whines, eats from a bowl, etc. Such play is almost never sexual, but rather focuses on the altered mind-space of bottom/pup.
RACK: Risk Aware Consensual Kink
Rape Fantasy: The pleasurable fantasy of inflicting or being a victim to an act of consensual rape.
Sadism: The act of inflicting pain.
Sadist: Person who enjoys inflicting pain, usually sexually.
SSC: Safe, Sane and Consensual
Safe Word: When a participant utters a safeword, BDSM activity stops. Commonly ‘Red’ means complete stop, ‘Yellow’ means something needs to be addressed, then continue.
Scat Play: Feces play , very dangerous if not done correctly, also very demeaning to the slave.
Scene: The period of time encompassing BDSM play. For example “I’m planning a knife-play ‘scene’ for tonight”
Sensation Play: BDSM play where the intent is to push people's sensory limits, thus exploring texture, sensory deprival, through to whips, flagellation and edge play.
Session: A time period of BDSM activities with a Pro Domme.
Slave: Person who gives up all control in an ongoing D/s relationship, sometimes with few remaining limits. Often those who identify as "slave" have a great desire for being of service to their Dominant. Sometimes referred to as "service-oriented submission."
Slave Position: Also called The Pleasure Position. Sub is kneeling, legs spread, head down and hands out with palms up.
Soft Limits: Something that someone is hesitant to do or nervous to try. They can sometimes be talked into the activity, or preferably it may be negotiated at a trial or beginner level into a scene.
Submissive: "sub" for short. Person that gives up control either all the time or only during a scene. Not as serious as being slave.
Subspace: A "natural high" that a sub gets during a scene or when being controlled. Often triggered by pain. The sub may feel disconnected from time, space, and/or their body, and may have limited ability to communicate. It is critical that a Dom(me) be aware of their sub's well being if they are in subspace.
Switch: Someone who likes being both Dominant and submissive, either in one scene or on different occasions.
Tattooed:A way for a Domme to mark Her property permanently.
Topping From The Bottom: When submissive tries to direct the Dominant.
Top: Someone who is Dominant during a scene, not necessarily Lifestyle.
Training: Either referring to a short period of time (a scene) or an ongoing effort of the Domme teaching the sub how to act. Can either be a playful thing or a serious thing, depending on the couple.
Vanilla: Someone who is not in the Lifestyle. Alternatively, sexual behavior which does not encompass BDSM activity.
WIITWD: What It Is That We Do. An acronym referring to all forms of alternative sexuality.
Wax Play: The Domme drips hot wax on the sub.
This is only a few of the main one's.